Over the past years, I experienced betrayal, misfortune, heartbreaking situations, and things that could have possibly stolen my sanity, wear me down, and change my thought on so many things and about so many people.
But you see some people look at me and think I have no worries, things bothering me and all, cause I've always been that hard and tough-looking girl who doesn't allow things to get to her.
I know how many times I've been at my lowest and still pull through and come off like everything is fine wearing the normal face I usually put on.
I can't count how many times I felt I've always been the one to receive all the lashes even when most times I am not really at fault but because of my personality, I get less support.
Or how many times people I call friends have proven themselves otherwise, yet I still smile as if nothing happened and nurse the hurt all on my own and come through for them whenever and however they need me or my help.
I've lived that way for the past few years, hoping I could make a change this year.
I planned it all, I thought I had it all figured out.
I was ready to pay back people in the same manner and approach.
I wanted to treat them the same way they treated me or even worst.
I wanted to be a little bit mean, heartless, and inconsiderate too.
I had it all planned but whenever the time for the sweet payback approaches or surfaces, I always have a change of mind.
I am not always courageous enough to push through with the plans even after saying I would.
And even after thinking it was the best I could do.
I am always reminded not to repay evil for evil because not everyone could be like me and neither could I be like everyone.
And that expecting so much from people because of the amount of love, sacrifices, and care I showered is just gonna leave me shattered and broken when they don't act the same way
I learned this yet I couldn't stop myself from thinking they could change or they could be less of what they were or that they could do better.
Little did I know that people never change just because you are good to them.
And I can't constantly put myself in that corner thinking they would
I think it's gonna be my last, I don't know.
But I do know that I wouldn't wanna play that card anymore.
I don't want to be the only one that keeps mute and understanding while letting go every time.
I don't want to nurse all the bruises and hurt on my own.
If people can't change to be better individuals then they don't deserve whatever it is I did on my part to be a better person towards them just so everyone would be at peace and perhaps happy too.
It's tiring and exhausting being the only understanding and sacrificial lamb.
I am stepping up the game and I wouldn't care what they would think of me.
This is gonna be my last! Unless people change.
𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫
~ 𝐈 𝐚𝐦 𝐖𝐚𝐤𝐲! 𝐀 𝐦𝐮𝐥𝐭𝐢-𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐢𝐬 𝐳𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐰 𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐫. 𝐀 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟-𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐭𝐡 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐝𝐝𝐬.
𝐈 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐞𝐱𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐛𝐲 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐨 𝐈 𝐚𝐦 𝐚 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐝𝐮𝐜𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐞, 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞 "𝐀𝐛𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐆𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐞".
𝐈 𝐚𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐈 𝐚𝐦 𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐪𝐮𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐝𝐲𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐜 𝐰𝐚𝐲
𝐇𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐬𝐨𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐇𝐎𝐌𝐄 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐒𝐏𝐀𝐂𝐄 ~
22 May 2023
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